My Annual New Year’s Resolutions I Intend to Keep

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Can it really be time for New Year’s Resolutions again?

Raise your hand if you made resolutions in January 2022 and stuck to them all year. Not too many of you, I see.

Don’t worry; you’re in good company. 70% of people that make resolutions fail to keep their promise to themselves by the end of February. Not me, however. I always maintain mine. It’s not because I’m better than those 70 percenters. I’m just as weak as the next guy. I’m just realistic.

I have divulged resolutions I intend to keep in past columns, knowing they are easily keepable. I’ve vowed not to lose weight or join a gym, and I’m not going to eat any healthier or learn new skills at age 65. I’ve kept my promise to procrastinate more and spend my children’s inheritance.

I’ve stopped eating any food pretending to be something else, including food with words like “impossible” or “amazing” in the title. As far as retail shopping is concerned, I haven’t been to a brick-and-mortar store since the pandemic hit. I can get underwear and sweatpants online, thank you very much.

The one resolution I am most proud of is that I have made more time for friends and family. With all the uncertainty that 2020 brought us, I’m not taking any chances.

But what about 2023?

Once the clock struck midnight on January First and the Honeymooner’s marathon began, we all vowed to be better people and be more tolerant of others. But the first time someone looked over your shoulder and said, “Hey, why aren’t you watching The Odd Couple marathon?” it would be easy to snap and blow the whole thing.

Not me. I have come to recognize my limitations and avoid resolutions that will be challenging. I’d rather make resolutions for 2023 I know I can keep.

NO MORE LOCAL TV NEWS PROGRAMS

I will no longer watch the Local News programs for more than five to eight minutes. It’s just not worth it anymore. All the important stories are in the first few minutes; then, they fall off the rails. If I want up-to-date weather and sports, I can check my phone.

I’LL FORM MY OWN OPINIONS, THANK YOU

I will continue reading Newsday, The Daily News, and The New York Post newspapers daily. I will then consider all their biased information and formulate my opinion. It doesn’t matter if you are conservative, liberal, or neutral. I still believe in newspapers; I don’t trust any single source of information anymore.

I’M NOT GOING TO NEW YORK CITY EVER AGAIN

I don’t see any reason to ever go into New York City anymore. Am I a scaredy cat? You bet. There isn’t an event in New York City that would make me get on a Long Island Railroad train to Penn Station ever again. No concert, no Broadway play, no sporting event. It’s over; I’m done. There are plenty of things to do here on Long Island without ever crossing a bridge into Manhattan.

I PROMISE TO WATCH THEM; I SWEAR

Although one of my previous New year’s Resolutions was to not binge-watch an entire series from a streaming service (I do not consider two or three in a row binge-watching), I still enjoy the shows on services like NETFLIX, HULU, and AMAZON PRIME. However, most of my friends and family have different viewing habits and favorites. The conversations involving, “What are you watching?” have replaced, “How’re the kids?” Since everyone is recommending something different, I can’t commit to anything without hurting someone’s feelings somewhere down the road. What if I told you I was going to watch Yellowstone, but the next time I saw you, I hadn’t watched it yet? So, feel free to enlighten me about what you are watching, and I promise to give it an episode or two.

I wish you, dear reader, the best of luck in 2023 in your quest to keep your resolutions.

I know I’ll keep mine…

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